Premise: Man #1 and Man #2 are walking toward each other on the street. #1 doesn't like the way #2 looks at him and decides to punch him in the face and teach him a lesson. The following argument is what ensues immediately after the act of violence takes place:

2: Hey! Why did you just punch me? I didn't do anything to you!
1: It was a coincidence. You must be really unlucky.
2: What do you mean, "coincidence?" You obviously meant to hit me!
1: No I didn't. You just happened to be the person I punched today. There was no real reason for me to do it. It just happened that way by chance.
2: There has to be a reason! People don't just go around punching each other unless they're insane!
1: That's what they'll have you believe, but it's not that hard to understand when you consider the statistics. People live for about 75 years. During that time, they're bound to get punched in the face, or any part of their body (making the probability greater), at some point in their lives. If you take every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year of your life, at least one of those brief moments should include a punch in the face. Given that much time, the odds are also pretty good that you'll punch someone else at some point. That makes the odds twice as good! Plus, with only 6 billion people on the planet, you and I were bound to meet at some point. Put all the evidence together. By coincidence, we just happened to meet on the same day that you would get punched in the face and I would punch someone else in the face. There was no reason. It was just our time. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't believe I really punched you. It's just too absurd. You probably imagined it because you needed an explanation for your pathetic problems.
2: What? My face hurts right where you hit me! And look at my reflection in that window. There's a big red mark, exactly the size of your fist, in the same spot. Explain that.
1: I don't believe that was my fault. That could be a birthmark for all I know. You could've walked into a wall five minutes ago. You could even be red with anger, causing all the blood to concentrate in that one spot. Maybe your face doesn't even hurt. Maybe your mind is creating the pain and it's all an illusion. It doesn't matter anyway, because you simply can't prove I punched you unless I admit it.
2: You don't need to admit it, because I saw you do it! Why would I make up something like that? I don't like being punched.
1: Is that really what you believe? Honestly? How can you be so sure without any physical evidence?
2: I just showed you the physical evidence! There's a mark on my face, it hurts in the exact same spot, I saw YOU do it, and you're here now. Explain how it could possibly be anything else.
1: You can't prove you saw me do it, and I never admitted to it, so you're dead wrong. Sorry to burst your bubble.
2: WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!!!!! Back when I asked why you punched me, you said it was a coincidence or something. That means you did admit it.
1: Come on. That was a long time ago. You can't accurately remember what someone said that long ago. It gets too distorted by time and human interference. Maybe someone told you I said something and now you're so caught up in the idea that you're convinced I actually said it.
2: It was only two minutes ago! I can remember things from ten years ago, so why can't I remember what just happened?
1: That's more than enough time for you to tamper with the facts. You're suffering from false memories, and now you're trying to force your beliefs on me and ignoring the obvious truth that you were never punched. Get over your delusions before it's too late!
2: THEY'RE NOT DELUSIONS, AND THERE IS NO "OBVIOUS TRUTH!" YOU'RE JUST CONTRADICTING EVERYTHING I SAY!
1: No I'm not.
2: You just did it again!
1: No I didn't.
2: Yes you did!
1: You can't prove that.
2: I already did!
1: Prove it.
2: PROVE THAT I PROVED IT?!
1: Sure.
2: I can't. I've done all I can.
1: Precisely. I must not have punched you. See what happens when you use flawed arguments?
2: Well, prove that you didn't punch me. You haven't done that yet.
1: Oh, but I don't need to. You see, Occam's razor says that we shouldn't posit pluralities unless absolutely necessary, so let's apply it to the present situation. You have a red mark on your face, it hurts, and you think you saw me do it and admit it. I've already proven that these conditions could exist some other way, and I think a fist counts as a plurality, don't you? You don't need extra physical baggage to explain this.
2: But what about the...oh, never mind. I can see you've already picked your side. By the way, you might want to look behind you.
1: Why should I trust you now? You were wrong once. Just leave me alone. [at this point, a police officer approaches #1 from behind and grabs his arm]
Officer: All right, I've seen enough. First you assaulted this gentleman, and then you created a public disturbance! That's illegal behavior in this city.
1: What? I never touched him! He lies! I've never hit another human being in my life!
Officer: Sure. [condescendingly] I believe you.
1: This isn't fair! If I'd known you were watching...

END

Sword & Spirit Ministries
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