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A Desperate Al Calls Mickey for Help!
Al Gore called upon none other than Mickey Mouse himself to help him in his campaign to find enough votes to win. "This is now a Mickey Mouse operation!" proclaimed a confident Mickey, on leave temporarily from his gig at Disneyworld in nearby Orlando.
Donning the Sorcerer's Hat he made famous in Fantasia, Mickey magically transformed himself intoa giant, "all the better to find lost votes with."
"If he can conjure up enough votes to make me win... err... I mean, if he can help us further the righteous cause of democracy, I'll make him a cabinet member in my Magic Kingdom!"
Mickey respectfully declined, saying, "Shucks! Mr Gore has surrounded himself with plenty of two-dimensional cartoon characters already."

[summer 2000]

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Idiocy
The Complete Idiot's Guide Series has reached new depths with The Complete Idiot's Guide to Prayer! Following alpha books' latest release (shown here) will be:
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Salvation
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Free Will
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sin
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Worship
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Repentance
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Thought
For larger image of Book click here

Image of Al Gore in Truck Mirror! Faithful Flock to Miracle!
A postal letter carrier in Freehold, Iowa, noticed what seemed like the spitting image of Al Gore on the mirror of his mail truck.
"I was just coming back from my route, and Golly Bob Howdy! there it was," said the postal worker who didn't give his name. Word got out and faithful Democrats from around the area came by the busloads to pay homage.
"The finger pointing the way to heaven, the Crown of Hair, the Royal Staff in his right hand, the American Flag. I was skeptical at first, but now I'm convinced. Al Gore is the Messiah!" said Mary McMartin (pictured bottom right of photo) who travelled the length of the state to see "the miracle."
Reverend Ebeneezer Smith of nearby Landover Baptist doesn't see anything. "The only people who see things are the Papists, so if you do see anything, it's demons what are showing it to you, and what you see is the AntiChrist."
Republicans in the area agree.
Nader supporters weren't asked.

[summer 2000]

Pope-arazzi Pop a Pic of a PopEye-Playin' Pope!
Pope John Paul II, caught here auditioning for the lead role in Popeye: The Musical, got the role, then refused it, to the surprise of many on Broadway. "The idea of a normal human achieving superhuman power appealed to me," John Paul said, "but I could not compromise with the whole Olive Oyl relationship thing. And the producers would not budge."
What's next for the Pope? "I have another idea for a musical that I'm currently pitching to producers. It is the story of a poor Polish boy who grows up to be the most powerful leader in the western world! The working title is Pope, I! - The Tradition Continues.

Pushed on by the phenomenal success of the WOW series of recordings, those WOW people are scrambling to find other compilation albums to put on the market for the greatest gift-giving season of them all - Christmas. Here is a sampling of what to look for on music racks soon:
WOW GRANDMA - 30 Landmark Christian Songs of the 1870's, 1880's, and 1890's
WOW DARK AGES - 30 Landmark Gregorian Chants
WOW EXPLOSIVES - 30 Landmark Sounds of Explosions from TNT to C4 to 30-megaton nuclear warheads! Boys love 'em!
WOW POLKA - 30 Landmark Polka Tunes from Minnesota and neighboring Canada
WOW COUNTRY - 9 Landmark Christian Country Tunes. We're still looking for 21 more.
WOW ELVIS - 30 of the King's favorite songs about the King of Kings
WOW MARCHING TUNES - 30 Landmark Spiritual Marching Tunes. We think this is all of them - in existence.
WOW BIRDS - 30 Landmark Mating Tunes of Birds from all over North America
WOW NATURE - 30 Landmark Sounds from nature; lightning, thunder, tornadoes, avalanches, and bugs hitting the windshield
WOW WOW - 30 Landmark Christian Songs taken from all our WOW compilations!
WOW 2010 - What we think will be the 30 Landmark Christians Songs a few years down the line.
Coming Spring next year - WOW BIBLE - 30 Landmark Books of the Bible - the ones without all the yucky and confusing things.