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Benny Blows Through Bifflesferd
Benny Hinn, on another crusade through the Heartland of America, was taken into custody last night after a bizarre incident in Bifflesferd, Ohio.
After somehow blowing down the church steeple at an outdoor gathering, Benny ran, loudly accusing the Holy Spirit of the damage done.
When finally cornered behind a house, Benny alledgedly whipped out his Holy Ghost machine gun and called upon at least 5 persons of the Trinity to help him out.
"We never took him seriously," said Police Chief Buford "Bubba" Townsend, "I mean, listen to the poor sap."
The police then fired teargas behind the house where Hinn had holed up. Wailing and gnashing his teeth, Benny finally surrendered. But as he was taken into custody his combover was caught by a sudden gust of wind and smacked the arresting police officer right in the head. The officer then wrestled Benny to the ground.
Charges: vandalism, evading arrest, and assault with a deadly combover. Hinn was released on bail. Hearings will be held next Tuesday.

Traders Sell... Souls!
At the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, desperate measures were taken today as widescale fear and panic continue to set in.
"This bear market is more than we can bear," says Kushi Akored. "So some of us got together last week to figure out what was wrong, why the market wasn't swinging back up. We came to this conclusion: Mammon was angry."
Mammon, of course, is the god of the trading world. According to reliable sources at this exchange and at the NYSE, Mammon is fed up with the lip service given by most stock traders.
Richard Jung Rooler, who has been trading for more than 20 years saw it coming. "We have been ignoring him. He is angry. We need revival."
Consequently, a religious fervor has been sweeping through the country's stock exchanges. Spontaneous praise to Mammon broke out here yesterday in an attempt to appease him and get the market back, at the same time getting money back into our pockets.
On the front steps a bull was sacrificed to Mammon and, shown here, a revival worship service broke out on the floor with singing and raised hands displaying the sacred hand signal for the Bull.
"You just watch," says Jude Scariot, another traitor, "now that we have recomitted our lives to our god, things will change. Mammon won't leave us hanging."

Stu and Didi Pickles Indicted!
In what will certainly prove to be the most sensational court trial since the OJ Simpson debacle, Stu and Didi Pickles, parents of Tommy and Dil Pickles of Rugrats fame, were indicted today in federal court. The charges: child endangerment and a host of related charges including leaving the two alone in the park all day, taking them to Las Vegas and Paris and "just letting them run willy-nilly all over the place without any semblance of adult supervision."
Nervously appearing in court with their lawyer (shown here) they both pleaded "not guilty." (Both the boys have been put in the temporary custody of "Pop" Pickles.)
When asked what this had to do with apologetics, the guys at swordandspirit.com replied, "Well, nothing really, we just had to vent."

The man who parked this truck here in Kernville, CA:

a) presents the Gospel with that "woman at the well" touch that we all love so much.
b) needs to work perhaps a little harder at "getting to the point;"
c) apparently doesn't think that city parking codes apply to him;
d) clearly does not believe that the Kern County Fire Dept is any threat to all that fire that's a-comin'.