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Man Guilty in Road Rage Dog Death
SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) - A man was convicted Tuesday of tossing a little dog to its death on a busy highway in a bout of road rage and could get up to three years in prison.
A jury took less than an hour to convict Andrew Burnett, 27, of San Jose, of animal cruelty for killing Leo, a fluffy white bichonfrise, in an episode that outraged dog lovers. Dog lovers and others had donated $120,000 to find Leo's killer - more than the reward in many local missing-child cases.
"It doesn't bring Leo back, of course, but at least Leo had his day," Leo's owner, Sara McBurnett, of Incline Village, Nev., said after the verdict. "One cruel person has been held accountable for their cruelty."
When asked why an abortionist can kill tens of thousands of unborn children and continue his pratice untouched, and a man who kills a dog in a rage can get three years in prison, local animal lover Ima Nutcase blurted, "There is no comparison! This man took an innocent living thing, who had done no one any harm and did not deserve to die, and he butchered it! Oh! You should have seen the body, all torn to pieces! Animals have rights, you know! He should have the same thing done to him!!! See how he'd like it!"

(bold type = actual report and quotes)

Taliban on Lookout for Terrorist Chess Players
(We wish we were making this up.)
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (Reuters) - Afghanistan's ruling Taliban movement on Wednesday banned the import of 30 items it said were un-Islamic, including playing cards, neckties, lipsticks, nail polish and chessboards.
The radical Islamic movement's Voice of Shariat radio, monitored in Islamabad, said the ban was ordered by the Taliban's supreme leader Mullah Mohammad Omar.
Other items listed as banned for being "against the Sharia," or Islamic law, include fireworks, statues, fashion catalogs and greeting cards featuring pictures of people, musical instruments and cassettes.
Also banned were computer discs, movies, satellite TV dishes, pig fat products and anything made of human hair.
The radio quoted the leader's order as telling border guards and security agencies to seize the banned items and hand them over to the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, which acts as the Taliban's religious police.
[from August 2001]

This house in Guatemala is where:

a) the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, seated in white face and black hat, ended up after being typecast in Hollywood for so many years.
b) Guatemalans give offerings to the Mayan saint Maximon, a Mayan icon (in black hat) to which Guatemalans offer cigarettes and liquor in exchange for whispering their requests in his ear.
c) the ARS101: Introduction to Arsonry class meets every Tuesday night
d) people are picking out flames of fire to put on their heads for a good old -fashioned Pentecostal meeting just like in the New Testament!

answer:b

Milingo's Marriage Vexes Vatican!
Roman Catholic Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo, 70, wed Korean Sung Ryae Sun, 43, in a May wedding in New York City. Not content with celibacy, which the Catholic clergy are required to observe, Milingo defied warnings by the Vatican not to marry.
Not content to stop at the celibacy issue, Milingo married someone whom he had met just an hour before the ceremony. "Heck, I wouldn't recognize her if she walked through the door right now," he said with a chuckle.
Not to stop at the celibacy/marry-a-stranger issue, he married someone young enough to be his daughter. "I always wanted a family! Now I have a wife and a daughter!"
Not being one to stop at the celibacy/marry-a-stranger/reverse Oedipus complex issue, Milingo was married in a mass wedding by Sun Myung Moon, leader of the Unification Church, aka the "Moonie" cult, a decidely unChristian and unCatholic sect. "Rev Moon is nearly like the Pope in his unparalled power among his followers. So what's the dif?"
So why does he remain Catholic? one may justifiably ask. "Once a Catholic, always a Catholic, I say. Moreover, I like the structure and laws of the church. It's rather comforting." replied Milingo.

Baghdad Bob is Back!

Out of work since the end of Gulf War II, former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahafhas has a new job! His new home? Minister of Information for Institute for Creative Answers in Genesis, Ken Hamorris's militant young earth creationist organization. And that rascal hasn't missed a beat since leaving Iraq, going right for the jugular of what he sees as his new enemy: those who dare hold a different interpretation of Genesis One. Just listen to these crazy quotes!

• There will be no old-earth infidels in our oganization! Never!
• My feelings, as usual, we will slaughter them all!
• God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of the Methodists!
• We are not afraid of the OECs. God has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid! (dramatic pause) and they are condemned!
• Hugh Ross, he always depends on a method what I call... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat his lies!
• I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place.
• The Charisma article is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies, and more lies!
• Let the Reasons To Believe infidels bask in their illusion!
• Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly.
• Yes, the infidel Hugh Ross has advanced further. This will only make it easier for us to defeat him!
• The fact is that as soon as they reach any church gates we will besiege them and slaughter them... Wherever they go they will find themselves encircled!
• They think we are retarded - they are retarded!
• Jack Hayford knows that he is standing in quicksand when it comes to his baseless support of infidel Hugh Ross.
• Andy Butcher [head writer at Charisma] is a crook and the most despicable of creatures.
• I have never heard of such an organization as swordandspirit! But they are probably pigs, all of them!

Ken Hamorris, president of ICAiG, says "Muhammed, with his sharp wit, his creative answers, the way he sees everyone else as the enemy, and his impeccable logic, fits in with this organization like a hand in a glove."